At the age of 20, I had an abortion. The boyfriend at the time did not want a baby and I was terrified. I thought it would be my way out. I had seen many friends have children at a young age and saw their lives fall apart. My sister was in an abusive relationship, so I thought this was the right thing to do. I was wrong. The guilt and shame I walked caused many suicide attempts. I knew that God forgave me the same day I had the abortion; however, for 2 years, I never forgave myself.
As I worked through the guilt and shame, God laid on my heart that I should name her and I did: Eden Rain. She is in the garden of Eden with God reigning over her. It was because of her, I found my way back to Christ.
It is still hard for me to share this because I am always wondering if I will be judged, but I know I am a daughter of the King, and there is no shame there!
“Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. No longer will there be any curse. The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and his servants will serve him. They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever.” Revelations 22:1-5 (NIV)
“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1 (NIV)